Saturday, August 3, 2013

The View From My Corner....by The Sous Chef

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Things are going amok at Lindaraxa's so I've decided to take matters in hand.  To begin with, there is a cat in the house.  Not only that, she is the spitting feline cat version of me.  My Mom and my sister both think she is cool.  I think she is arrogant, cocky and catty.   She has taken over the house from front door to  back porch.  Now she is lying on the floor in Mom's study pretending to help with the blog.  Ha!


This is the one I'm stuck with


It all started last week.  Well, you know the story.  Two cats occupying our front door, my gateway to freedom! Everything has changed now, all for the worse.  Cats rule the front, we puppies are delegated to the back.  But we were here first.  I thought we had seniority, whatever that means.  Everything now is "Here Coco", "Cute Coco", "Come Coco".  Coco? Whoever thought of that stupid name! Yikes.


I'm so depressed I just can't get out of bed

I have been the lady I'm not supposed to be.  I did try to chase her but she is fast...Boy is she fast.  She has been spending lots of time going around the house and snooping around.  I think she is staking out some safe hiding spots   Yesterday she got on top of Mom's dining room table.  Can you imagine if I had done that! Mom just smiled and said "Cute Coco" and picked her off the table.  Cute Coco....wait til Madame Mere hears about that.  I think she will be a good ally.  If only I knew how to use the phone.  What's an area code?


My new chilling out place

 On top of that she has driven off the yard all my favorite things to chase.  Remember the bunnies who ate Mom's hostas? Not a one in sight.   I wonder where the family in the front bushes relocated to.  Maybe that's where I should go.  I know! I will escape for a couple of hours and pretend I am lost.  Make them sweat it out and miss me.  Lily is no help.  She's a wimp, a softie and a traitor, just like Mom.  She grew up with a kitty so she is perturbed.  Her name was Willow and she was here when I arrived.  I hated Willow but I pretended to like her for my big sister's sake.  I adore my two legged sister, she is so-o-o-o cool.


Happier Times

For awhile there I thought it was all temporary and things would get back to normal in no time.  Mom hates cats.  She used to be our biggest ally.  But things have changed.  Mom has changed.  I think she's getting old and softie.  Yesterday she went to Petsmart and came back with two cat collars, one for day and another with sparkly things for night.   I knew then I was a dead Westie.  She didn't even take me and I love to go to Petsmart with her.  I could have shown her where the kitty stuff was...way in a corner in back, about a quarter of the dogs stuff.  Even the fish have a bigger area. That's how high Petsmart thinks of cats.  We take up half the store.  And we have Grooming and Obedience School all to ourselves.  Ever heard of Obedience School for Cats? They are useless and docile and boring.  So they catch mice...big deal.  Dogs Rule!



My favorite Christmas sweater in Reggie D Retail Red



But she can't compete with me in the wardrobe area.  I have more collars than she does, at least one for every season of the year;  plus activity collars, like my favorite swimming collar.  Oh, and I have a coat for winter and a raincoat for rainy days, in plaid and red .  But she has a bell on her collar.  Boy is that annoying.  At least I know where she is.  Wait til Mom goes out...Chase is on!


Here she is with that damn bell

So dear readers, I am appealing to you to intervene on my behalf for I don't know how much longer I can keep on pretending.  Keep in mind my nature is to chase and torment cats, squirrels and anything that moves fast.  That's what we were bred for.  A cat's worst nightmare, not the other way around.  And remember who picks those recipes you like so much.  And who nixes the bad ones.  And boy, does she have bummers.  Chicken livers (yuck). Bet the cat will encourage her to do more of those....and there goes the blog, and my reputation.


I just ignore her...maybe she'll go poof!


I know our readers will probably be mad about getting a cat story instead of a recipe; but until things change I have no alternative but to go on strike.  How can I think of food and new recipes when my world has been turned upside down by a cat!  This cat!

Please help restore the honor of a proud West Highland White Terrier...

Occupy Lindaraxa and make her get rid of that cat! 

33 comments:

  1. Oh! How awful! Just as we people must do when dealing with unpleasantness, you my dear, must rise above! Do not let "them" (and you know who "they" are) get to you! Be pleasant and fool them! Take the high ground! Ignore the interloper if you must, but remain pleasant to mom and she will realize the error of her misguided affections!

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    1. Scarlett? Are you the one who dumped Rhett? He never came back, right? Hmm...yes, definitely, I'm taking you advice! Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn! That's my new line.

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    2. Here Here Scarlett!! I couldn't agree more. Can't we all just get along? - Sous Chef's sister.

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  2. Everyone knows that a cat is absolutely no help in the kitchen. So don't worry; you'll always be Number One Sous Chef.

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    1. Oh, you don't know this cat. She is cunning, conniving and calculating. She just pretends to be sweet. But I'm glad for your support...Occupy Lindaraxa!

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  3. When I read the title, I immediately knew that the cat from last week had probably stayed at your house and you, darling Monsieur Le Sous Chef, were not happy. How could you be when someone invades your territory!

    I felt much the same when my little sister was born. I encourage you to continue to be a good sport about it and by all means, let that cat know who is in charge. And I will speak to mother about more pampering for you. In the meantime, hang in there, graciously of course, and I'm sure things will eventually work out. They always do.
    Sam

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    Replies
    1. I wouldn't mind a little sister. I have been begging Mom for one, but a Westie girl not a cat! All my friends on Twitter have little brothers or sister. What do I get? A cat! You know what I got yesterday? A (I can't even say the word) bath. A BATH!! why me? it's the cat who stinks! Luckily I still get to sleep with Mom. I don't even let her peak into our room. That's my place. Mine, mine, mine. I have noticed though I'm getting extra treats and hugs. Hmm. you might be right.

      Thanks for your support. Oh, by the way, I just love your recipes. Need a Sous Chef? I'm the best!

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    2. Oh my. I did not recognize how dire your situation is. How about I pick you up tonight at your back door at one stroke past midnight and you come be my Sous Chef for a while. When your Mom recognizes the error in her ways, she'll beg for you to come back and you can name your own terms. Let's keep this just between the two of us. Not a word to anyone, okay?
      Sam

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    3. Hmmm...sounds like a plan. but, but will she know where I am? Can we leave a note? like a ransom note? That's what they do in CSI. I know, I watch. Oh,and I get treats right? In case you forget I have an adorable little face to remind you.

      I'll be waiting...

      oh, I forgot...what's midnight?

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  4. All I can say is you are one funny Westie! Good luck!

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    1. Thanks Sal. I need all the luck I can get.

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  5. Who needs recipes when you provide us with this kind of entertainment?

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    1. Oh, it's you. The other softie who let a cat stay for twenty years....shame on you. Twenty years? that's more than a Westie lives and we hang around for a long time. twenty years, twenty years, yeeeze!

      Is it dead yet? Sorry I didn't mean to be mean. Just saying....

      Delete
  6. Dear LucyWestie,

    After the mewness of kitty wears off you will be top dog again. You have distinct companion advantages over a cat as you like to go for car rides, the cat will never be taken on the boat, and you take the family for walks which is good for them too!

    I will warn you though, as Fall and Winter approach human laps and snuggling cats are a match made in heaven.

    Chin up and Terry on!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Linda,

      You seem to be very knowledgeable about these matters. Yes, Winter and Fall are very much on my mind and just a few weeks away. Finally Mom will have a lap dog, which I'm not. Cuddling is for sissy dogs. I'm a Terrier...I hunt. That's why I like my sister so much. She's the one who takes me on adventures. Did you know I kayak too? We are famous around our lake. She's the one I'm most worried about. Forget Mom. She's a traitor!

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  7. Lucy I sent you a copy of 'how to catch a cat' its in Kindle...you do have one of those don't you? This is a crime on dogs...so horrid...with all you do for your mother and sissy...all the love you have given them. The hours you have spent cleaning the kitchen floor when your mum cooks...what on earth were they thinking? I am thinking your mom had flipped way to many pancakes...PS/will send you big bucket of KFC, just in case you get in trouble for cat clearing...Missy

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  8. Oh Missy, finally a kindred spirit. No one can understand this like another dog. Horrible, is the word. Yes! after all I have done for them. The endless cuddling I have had to endure and now this! Don't worry, I have my credentials circulating around. I may even get more treats with another blog. Keep your paws crossed!

    PS Of course I have a Kindle.

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  9. Oh Lucy. Oh poor dear Lucy. I am totally, 150% with you. Cats do not belong in houses, and certainly not in a house with a Westie!
    What about your Mom's allergies to cats? You need to figure out a way to make those allergies worse than ever, right?
    Keep us posted sweet Lucy!
    oxox

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    Replies
    1. Aunt Libby, I knew you would come! having had a Westie you know how tough it is for us. Mom is running around with a drippy nose and a silly cough all night long. Keeps me awake to boot so I'm not a sharp as I should be to endure another day. You talk to her. You guys almost grew up together. She'll listen. I know she will. SHE HAS TO. Pray for me Aunt Libby I am at wits end!!!!!

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  10. I don't think your mom showed you my last comment where I said I thought you should seek immediate legal action and evict that damn cat. Well, sweetie, that door may have already closed. Perhaps it's time for you to begin suing your mom—yes, that's right—for alienation of affection. And then there's the business that you have helped your mom write a successful blog. You have been the loyal sous chef in every way. You deserve better than this. I'm sure many of your other admirers will join with me to contribute to your Legal Defense Fund. How could anyone love a cat?

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    1. A legal defense fund...now why didn't I think of that. Brilliant! And I didn't sign a prenup. Her goose is cooked! I might get to keep the house, and all my coats and collars and toys. I have pictures too. Damming pictures. Mom cuddling the cat, Mom feeding the cat, Mom...I can't go on...it's too painful. Can we get Raoul Felder? I can just see my cute face on the cover of People Magazine. Imagine a Westie on the cover of PM! "After nine years of undying affection Lucy Ivana Westie Sous Chef of Lindaraxa Sues Mom for Divorce after Stray Younger Cat Moves Into the House". Looooooooooooove it!

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  11. I think you need another friend to out number the cat. It will be better for hunting, too. I'd start thinking how to drive that cat crazy. But on the other hand that is one pretty cat. You could have a new best friend?

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    1. Me and cat best friends? nah nah nah. Lily my sister was in my corner...for awhile. Now she is a traitor like Mom. No, I will fight this battle alone...The Lone Westie! Hi ho Silver away!!!

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  12. oh puleeze. you are one spoiled dog. how about a little compassion, a little empathy. cheers to your mom for her welcoming spirit. you, sous chef, are truly sous.

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    1. I knew there had to be one of you out there. A cat lover...worse than a cat! So if you are not gonna show your face, neither am I.

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  13. oh poor puppet! I'm sorry you are suffering, but you should learn to live with this new kitty interloper. You don't have to like her, but if you ignore her she might ignore you and everyone can live in peace. (But don't let that chicken livers thing go, those are gross) water damage restoration Atlanta

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    1. I've tried ignoring her and come to think of it, I've noticed she's starting to ignore me. Ignore me, can u imagine. No one ignores me. I am a Westie! I don't think I like that...

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  14. Dear Lucy,
    You could go on strike and start your own blog.
    That could make a dent
    I bet you numbers would be terrific too
    Sign me up!

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    1. You should see my numbers on Twitter. I'm the President of our Westie Clubhouse where NO CATS ARE ALLOWED! (or Moms) Mercie chere mademoiselle.

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  15. Lucy: THis post was on Facebook AGAIN?? What in the world is your Mom doing? You mean, the-you-know-what is still there??? Ah, mon dieu! We have to think of something and quick. I wlll ask my people around here and see what they say! A bientot ma petitet chere!!!oxox

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    1. Chere Tante Libby,

      Bien sur! Depeche toi!

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  16. so cute and a hilarious post!
    -Linda,ny

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  17. This is an adorable post, so clever. And I think the red sweater looks perfect, even though that shade will never be seen anywhere near Darlington House, at least during the Christmas season... Fondly, Reggie

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